Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
