I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
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