They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
worst night to have a conscience
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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