Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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