I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
