if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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