marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
