Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
