Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
