the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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