I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
