i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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