Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
