girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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