he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Naked. naked and bneed help.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
