she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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