First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
