Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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