I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
