I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
