Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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