Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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