Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
