We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
