Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
