so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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