as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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