Joe is yelling at the trees again.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
