Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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