i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I did not marry a roomba.
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