have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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