I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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