Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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