Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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