He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
