At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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