D3 body, D1 cock
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
