i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
