Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the day after is always just damage control
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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