cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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