i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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