If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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