I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
