what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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