I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
