I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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