I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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