HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
