Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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