I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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