And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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