A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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