Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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