Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
