pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
