I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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