i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
