This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
