dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
