Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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